The Hollow Girl by Hillary Monahan

Author:Hillary Monahan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Published: 2017-10-10T04:00:00+00:00

My sleep was restless and full of nightmares—the tangled yarns hanging from the ceiling did nothing to save me that night. I woke before Gran and the sun, my eyes fixed on the wall until the first slivers of daylight penetrated the slats of the vardo. I rose and hurried to the river, dreading the cold water but needing it, too.

I waded out to my waist, the current washing away some soil, but not all my filth went bone deep. I worried someone would discover me exposed, so I finished quickly, unable to ignore the bruises riddling my body. My wrists were raw and red from the bindings. Yellow and purple marks marred my upper arms. My fingers and toes were black-and-blue from where Tomašis had stomped on them, and my shoulder ached every time I moved.

My face was sore, too, from Silas’s punch, and when I got back to the vardo, I went to where the mirror normally hung, but the space was empty. We’d moved it into the bureau drawer, and I pulled it from its silk nest to peer at it. I was met not with my own reflection but Martyn’s sleeping face. Somehow, in the delirium of insufficient sleep, I’d forgotten about that.

I studied it awhile, frowning when I realized it had faded since the last time I looked at it—the edges were shadowy and the image shimmered, as if I were looking at a pond stirred by the wind instead of a solid glass surface.

I must’ve lost time while gazing at the mirror, because Gran’s voice startled me. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” I wasn’t fine, though. I was anything but. I was a hollow shell, but I would go through the motions of being Bethan so I wouldn’t have to face the myriad of awful feelings swirling beneath the surface.

“We must go to the fire to tell our people what wickedness has occurred,” she said.

I inhaled sharply. I hadn’t thought about having to face the clan. Or worse, my attackers—what would I do seeing them? How would I feel? Would I crumble? “I won’t speak of it. It’s forbidden,” I whispered. Any woman would have struggled after an attack such as mine, but for Roma, it was more complex. Purity was valued. Private matters were kept private. Women did not speak of carnality for fear of being labeled mochadi. “I am a woman with no husband. They may shame me—think me impure.”

“The rules are complicated when it comes to personal matters, but I promise you, the shame belongs to Silas and his boys. Not you. Never you. You are righteous. We could cast the five of them out for their crimes. We could disavow them from our people forever if you prefer, but someone needs to bleed to save your young man. If you wish to do the magic, we must lay down our terms.”

“Someone needs to bleed to save your young man.”

Five someones, perhaps?

Is there any choice?

I had no reply. I just wanted it to be over with.

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